Monday, August 15, 2011

The Birth Story

Let me preface this by saying it could be long.  This could also be short, but that is unlikely.

It all started on June 29, 2011, which depending on who you ask is either my due date or one day late.  I was the miserable pregnant lady.  My feet were beyond swollen and I was past the point of sleeping any amount of time.  The night before I slept maybe 3 hours.  I did this in an attempt to get back on track with sleeping.  I specifically recall saying to myself, "I won't sleep tonight at all so that way tomorrow I will be nice and sleepy and go to bed early."  You see where I am going with this?  Around 4a.m. I decided to be the amazing wife I am and make Greg's lunch for the next day.  Every time I made his lunch I wondered if it would be the last lunch I made before going into labor.  I even contemplated writing him this in a little note in his lunch.  Something along the lines of, "I hope this is the last lunch I make you!"  It was late and I was tired so I decided against it.  How I wish I had written that note now.

Around 8a.m. Greg got up and showered for work.  I told him I already made his lunch and how I had gotten no sleep in an attempt to sleep plenty tonight.  Off he went to work, and off I was to putz around the internet.  I went into the kitchen and looked out the window and said to myself (here I go talking to myself again!), "Wow, it's beautiful out today.  Today would be an amazing day to have a baby."  I had wishful thoughts as I was ready to meet this baby.  Back to the couch I went.  Around 9:30a.m. I started having pains.  I opened up the contraction timer website and started inputting the times, not thinking much of it at this point.  I looked at it after several "episodes" and saw that my contractions (still wasn't sure that's what these were) were 9 minutes apart.  I text Greg to let him know and he was all ready to come home.  I told him to wait it out, it wasn't time.  The contractions were sporadic, sometimes 9 minutes, sometimes 4 minutes.  At this point I knew I needed a shower.  That was always my plan.  I had to look cute in labor at the hospital.  I think I called Greg before my shower and told him I needed him to come home I was in a lot of pain.  That was the worst shower of my life.  I think I was screaming the entire shower and Greg came home to a very pregnant wife in a towel on all fours in our bathroom, screaming again.  He ran up the stairs to inform me our next door neighbor thought I was being murdered in the house.  Great, that's embarrassing!

He insisted I call the doctor.  They then told me I should stay at home because the contractions were 6 minutes apart and still sporadic at times.  They asked if I felt the baby to which I said no, I mean who could feel anything other than pain?  That prompted them to send me to the hospital for monitoring.  Like I said previously, I wanted to look cute.  I attempted make up and realized my hair needed to get thrown into a pony because my contractions were now 4 minutes apart!  I did make time to take one last belly shot!  It was about 11:30a.m. when we packed up and headed out, not before Greg put a pee pee pad down on his car seat.  Just in case ya know.

The car ride to the hospital felt like the longest and bumpiest ride of my life.  The whole time I kept saying that this better be it because this pain was unbearable I couldn't imagine it being "false labor."  I was also in disbelief and wanted to scream to every car, "I'm having a baby!!!"  We got to the hospital and Greg got me a wheelchair.  That is how you know I was in pain, I normally would have refused such a thing.  We checked into triage where I joked in between contractions about how I couldn't believe people like Michelle Duggar have so many kids.  I was checked and already at 4cm.  I was definitely having a baby before I left the hospital! Insert panic and excitement beyond belief here.  One of the best surprises was seeing Felicia who had been my triage nurse the week prior when I went in for decreased movement.  She was going to be my delivery nurse!

So off I waddled to a labor and delivery room.  The next few hours are fairly boring as all I did was contract every so often.  I must say I rocked this.  My mom likes to tell me how I would be talking, pause for contraction, then start back up talking once it was over.  The contractions were pretty easy once I got to the hospital.  I have no clue why as nothing was different there.  There did come a point when they got pretty unbearable, and after being offered the epidural for the millionth time, I conceded.  I wanted to wait as long as possible.  They checked me and at this point I was 8cm.  Yay for that because I got mine ahead of some girl who was only 4!  By the time they finished the epidural, I was 9cm.  Life was great now!  They had to tell me when I was contracting.  The doctor did try to break my water but wasn't successful.  She also placed a fetal monitor on Lexi's head because they were having a hard time tracking her heart rate.  Watching Greg's face while they did this was classic.  I barely felt that anything was going on but Greg assured me things were happening!  Wonderful, I thought.  I won't feel a thing and I will rock delivery like I did labor!  At 6:25p.m. they told me it was time to push.

Hearing those words flooded my body with every emotion possible.  It was almost as if I had no clue this was the next step.  I was all, "Really?! Seriously??"  Felicia laughed at me and said it was go time.  I promptly kicked my dad out of the room, sorry Pamps.  I couldn't push a baby out with my daddy in there!  I started pushing and was told how good of a pusher I was.  Now I am not sure what makes one a good pusher, but apparently I had it down.  Insert false hope.  I thought with every set of pushes I would meet my baby.  The first hour of pushing was a breeze.  I kept wondering what all the fuss about delivery was about.  I soon found out.

Into the second hour is when things get blurry.  I used the clock in front of my face on the wall as my focal point.  Probably not a good idea because every minute that went by, I got anxious as to why I was pushing for so long.  I kept asking the doctor and Felicia if she was almost here.  I could hear the hesitation in their voices as they tried to assure me that she would be here soon.  They moved me into different positions.  On my sides, which is nearly impossible to push in.  When I laid on one of my sides it made her heart rate dip.  They thought they were being sly, but I could see them keeping a strict eye on her monitor.  I began to panic inside.  I continued to push and with every set I became more exhausted.  Greg was a rockstar and let me pull on his belt loops when I pushed.  Now the need to push was coming right on top of each other.  I had no time to relax in between.  Pushing was not so fun anymore.  I recall asking how my hair looked several times during this process.  Why I cared is beyond me!

I knew something was going on because the room was starting to fill with people.  I was starting to panic out loud, but they kept telling me to push.  I screamed my typical phrase of, "I can't do it anymore."  They finally brought out some bar that attached to the bed and gave me a sheet to wrap around it and pull on.  It brought me into a sitting position.  At this point I believe I was told I had a few more pushes, they would try the vacuum, and if all that failed, I would need a Cesarean.  There was no way I was going to push for 2 hours just to get cut open.  The problem was I would push and she would crown, and then slip back under the bone.  That felt lovely let me tell you.  According to Greg, I was one push away when they got her with the vacuum.  I had one left before the c-section.  The last push I gave it everything I absolutely had in my whole soul.  I kept trying to picture meeting my baby.

Finally at 8:35p.m my sweet baby was born at 6lb 12oz and 20 inches long.  I felt her leave my body and heard them announce her entrance.  I heard the first sweet cry and the doctor ask if Greg wanted to cut the cord.  They placed her on me and I was in love.  All I could say, after checking she was indeed a she, was "Hi baby girl."  I couldn't believe this baby was mine.  She was so warm and so beautiful.  I was astonished at the amount of hair on her head.  I looked her over to make sure she was perfect, and I ran my fingers over her.  Taking it all in.  Then they took her and began the 1hour 15minute process of putting humpty dumpty back together again.

...and it was long

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